When I went into my Freshman year at Texas A&M, I was given some really great advice. Some consisted of spiritual habits like daily reading your Bible or finding a church as soon as possible to get plugged into (both were things I did not do almost my entire first year). Some were more about class, like to take good notes and to not study only the evening before a big exam. I took very little advice, but for the few tips I did decide to try and follow, I want to just say that, man: I really wish I hadn’t.
Of course, I can honestly say that most of what people told me was shared with good intentions. Along with that, I’d like to note that what might not work for some might work for others, instead. So before I give this 3-point list of what NOT to follow, please don’t take them as absolutes. I, myself, struggle most with procrastination, too much time to myself, and lack any sort of motivation to study for exams (all of which are things I have dealt with since elementary school…literally). So if you’re anything like me, maybe some of this will help
- “Take lots of naps!”
I can’t tell you how many times older college students or TAs would say “if you have the opportunity, take a nap!” I took them up on their offer nearly every time. It came to be that if I had a half hour to two hours, I’d plop into bed, curl up under my warm blankie, and turn on the fan to have white noise to fall asleep to. This immediately became an issue for me in a lot of ways. When you sleep in the middle of the day, everyday, you have a really hard time enjoying a deep sleep the following evening. Even if I got between 7 or 9 hours, I still felt weirdly exhausted in the morning. As I talked to a doctor (and one of several therapists) I kept learning that when you sleep in the middle of the day and then try to sleep that night, just hours later, your brain becomes confused and doesn’t really know what you want from it. So it stays in a high-energy state, moving a lot more and having more mental traffic while you sleep that night. So even if you sleep the entire evening, your brain hasn’t completely rested the way it normally should after it’s already shut off, shortly, in the afternoon. On top of that, I struggle with laziness. I tend to want to just sit and watch Netflix or lie in a warm bath for an extended period of time rather than exercise or study or spend time with friends. When you nap too much, you stay relatively tired and groggy the majority of the day. An every now and then nap won’t hurt, but I would encourage the nap-habit to come to an end. You can try and experience the deep sleep I’m talking about, if you do!
2. “See family when you can!”
The beginning of college was a hot mess for me as I have said before and will continue to reiterate. One of the causes of this, and perhaps side effects, was major depression. I wanted to sleep constantly, eat badly, and listen to music with my earbuds in all day everyday. So when a weekend would come up for me to go home (or a Wednesday afternoon) I would take it. Once I got home, I struggled ten-fold to go back to school. I had no friends in my college town, horrible grades, and no family. I wasn’t even that wanted at home, but I didn’t care. It was a familiar place and I had zero responsibility there. But this stifled any opportunities for me to go to new social events or work on my studies. For nearly two whole semesters, I used home as an excuse to keep from adapting to the real college life. Once I decided to stop using home as a buffer, I was forced to reach out to others and face my classes. When I chose to let go of home as being, well, home, I began to embrace and love the life I now have in college.
3. “Don’t take a job your first year!”
I can see why people offer this as basic advice for incoming freshman, but I am going to, kindly, reject it. Staying busy is so good for you—or at least, it is for me. Of course, I didn’t figure this out until my second year here in College Station. But now that I have, I look back and wanna just smack my 18 year old self in the face. I had nothing to work for or towards. I had barely a thousand dollars in savings and that was it. Plus, it went fast as I bought more and more food and spent less and less time on the free gym membership I have as a student. Making money on your own is really good for learning independence and can help in taking the step from parent’s house to being physically on your own in college. Not only that, but it creates great time management, and there are little excuses if you’re taking ten different clubs or extracurriculars. Instead of that third non-profit organization, try a nannying or student technician job. There are tons of opportunities for on-campus jobs that allow great flexibility with your school schedule. If you go to A&M, here is a place to look for part time positions!
That all to say, I learned a lot my Freshman year. Most importantly, I learned about myself. Take time to reflect on yourself and what you’re figuring out in life. How did you handle that first F on your 4-credit science exam? How have you been with your physical health this month? What kind of thoughts have you had about yourself and your worth? Maybe write in a journal or even just your notes on your iPhone as you catch on to new observations about yourself. At times, you’ll feel discouraged. But if you pay attention, you’ll start to adapt to the changes and stresses of college and—who knows—maybe learn to love it as much as I do.
-Mal
Mallory Chapman 